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"Get paid $16 per hour to be my pretend girlfriend," reads the Craigslist ad. "No touching ever." The context is depressing, plain. But in other situations, some ladies could find this to be a profitable opportunity. Here's the full posting: My parents are coming to town and while here they will want to meet my girlfriend who I don't really have since I'm gay. Oh My. I need someone to play my girlfriend while they are in town. You will need to be quick on your feet, have a good sense of humor and the ability to roll with most conversations. They don't know much about you which will make this easier but they will expect you to be easy going and fun to be around. They will be in and out of town over the next few months so if you can pull this off, this could be a reoccuring role for you! You need to be cute, thin and between 25 and 35.I think someone in the Marketing/PR circle might be the perfect kind of candidate for this job. I live in the Willow Glen neighborhood of San Jose and you'll need to be able to pop in or hang out and sometimes go to dinners and basically just have a good time. So the closer you live to San Jose the easier it will be on your travel time and the ability to just pop in. If you think you'd be interested in this please send me a recent photo, a description of yourself and please tell me why you'd like this job. Thanks, Ed Breaking up with your real girlfriend. For fans of the messy breakup, a pretend girlfriend is just the trick. The scene: you're in bed with your soon-to-be ex, when Pretend barges in, yelling that she knew there was someone else and asking how you could throw away your four years together. Then she tosses a (pretend) engagement ring on your bed and storms out. For this you can probably get away with paying just $8, plus the cost of the pretend ring. Hiding your sordid past. Maybe you've just gotten out of the slammer, like the guy in Buffalo 66. Or maybe you just spent the last few years doing something he now recognizes vaguely creepy, like direct e-mail marketing, or debunking the moon landing, or working for therapy. Pretend girlfriend erases all that! In the fervor of your love, you took off to build houses together in Africa, returning just in time for your high school reunion/family Thanksgiving/court date. Doctored photos, presumably, cost extra. Get Paid $16 Per Hour To Be My Pretend Girlfriend. No Touching Ever. (San Jose North) [Craigslist]

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